“If your brother wrongs you, go and show him his fault, between you and him privately. If he listens to you, you have won back your brother.” Matthew 18:15 AMP
I think it’s safe to say that most of us don’t enjoy confrontation. But there are those on the planet whose prophetic personality types (or whose obstinate personality types) actually enjoy confrontation. Whatever the case, we find there is a biblical model we are told to follow when the need arises to confront, and it’s found here in the words of Jesus.
If you’ve been wronged, pray first. Then listen to God: timing is everything. Find the right time, but go to that person privately to make things right. Express your issue in words beginning with “I feel…” not “you did…” Combative words only explode the situation. Most of us have problems seeing things from another’s viewpoint, so the person might not even know he’s wronged you. Discuss the wrong, scripture says, and keep this private. My grandmother used to say: “Deb, it’s time for me to get off the phone and head to the throne!” That meant she was getting ready to say something she knew she shouldn’t say, but that she should pray about.
Here’s the most important part: “if he listens to you.” You might be talking to empty air if that person has closed his spirit to you. But at least in your heart you know you’ve done the right thing. You’ve pleased God. You’ve tried to make it right. You’ve gone to that person in love, asking for reconciliation. Why? Because you want your brother back.
Make sure your motives are right when confronting. Make sure you’re not playing the judge. You want that brother back. Always be about restoration: love as if it never happened, forgive and release that person.
Grant that person forgiveness whether he ever asks or not. And remember this: all of humanity owes our precious Lord an apology…